[ time has taken enough from the two of them. in the years since baixue, since song lan had lashed out out of grief and suffering, there had been an empty place next to xiao xingchen's side that was never quite filled. spending time with a-qing, clever, clever girl that she was, helped a little, but in the end, it wasn't the same. even his companion--before he knew who he was--had been nice to spend time with, but not only was it flat compared to song lan, it was a lie, too. it just wasn't the same.
and though he'd tried to move on -- for song lan's sake, because he would have understood intimately if his closest, dearest friend hated his guts, because xiao xingchen hated his own guts just a little for the horrible things song lan was put through -- he couldn't. a bright moon shining lonely in a sky that used to be filled with stars.
but here, they have a second chance. suddenly (even if they're on the run, it's no different than before) - suddenly he and zichen have each other again, like nothing and everything has changed all at once. for the first time in a while, xiao xingchen feels an utter, complete clarity.
his heartbeat ratchets up when song lan's fingers touch his skin. goosebumps rise underneath his fingertips, and he exhales, soft, shaky, keeps his hand curled against song lan's other, still pressed to his cheek. xiao xingchen rises with him just a little, the oxygen filling his lungs as he seems to follow his fingers, then back out again. he thinks, please, more when he stops, tries to visualize, imagine his expression, cool and smooth, light in his eyes, and his fingers curl tighter against song lan's when his mouth just brushes the corner of his. it leaves behind a spark.
xiao xingchen has wasted enough time. his chest heaves with the force of the breath he sucks in, heart aching, and his other arm comes off of the rim of the tub to grab for song lan's cheek. he misses the perfect angle, just a little too high so his fingertips brush his brow, but ever quick to adjust, xiao xingchen moves to cup his cheek properly, and just like that, the dam breaks.
he turns his head to the side, and for the first time, for something that feels so much like finally xiao xingchen kisses song lan, and wraps his fingers around his other hand to squeeze, and tight. to say, i'm here. to say, you're here.
24 comments later................................ the kiss icon
and though he'd tried to move on -- for song lan's sake, because he would have understood intimately if his closest, dearest friend hated his guts, because xiao xingchen hated his own guts just a little for the horrible things song lan was put through -- he couldn't. a bright moon shining lonely in a sky that used to be filled with stars.
but here, they have a second chance. suddenly (even if they're on the run, it's no different than before) - suddenly he and zichen have each other again, like nothing and everything has changed all at once. for the first time in a while, xiao xingchen feels an utter, complete clarity.
his heartbeat ratchets up when song lan's fingers touch his skin. goosebumps rise underneath his fingertips, and he exhales, soft, shaky, keeps his hand curled against song lan's other, still pressed to his cheek. xiao xingchen rises with him just a little, the oxygen filling his lungs as he seems to follow his fingers, then back out again. he thinks, please, more when he stops, tries to visualize, imagine his expression, cool and smooth, light in his eyes, and his fingers curl tighter against song lan's when his mouth just brushes the corner of his. it leaves behind a spark.
xiao xingchen has wasted enough time. his chest heaves with the force of the breath he sucks in, heart aching, and his other arm comes off of the rim of the tub to grab for song lan's cheek. he misses the perfect angle, just a little too high so his fingertips brush his brow, but ever quick to adjust, xiao xingchen moves to cup his cheek properly, and just like that, the dam breaks.
he turns his head to the side, and for the first time, for something that feels so much like finally xiao xingchen kisses song lan, and wraps his fingers around his other hand to squeeze, and tight. to say, i'm here. to say, you're here.
to say, i love you, i love you, i love you. ]