potosi | do you want me, do you want me too?

[ you know, itsuki almost could have gotten away with it. it's not all that weird for nazuna to have gifts in his locker--he's given his combination to all of the members of rabits and the broadcasting club, just in case, but opening it today gave him a bit of a surprise. the chocolate box is delicate and pretty, the rose gently plucked of all of it's thorns, and nazuna picks them up carefully to look, but...

the ribbon is way too nice to be from just anyone.

it puts a little smile on nazuna's face, kind of fond. itsuki didn't used to be the type for such shy gestures, but... then again, things used to be different, didn't they? nazuna used to get so flustered by itsuki's poetic gestures, his insistent need to tell nazuna how beautiful he was on a daily basis, and while this is different... they need a middle ground, he thinks.

as a third year, nazuna has learned to do a lot of things, and being bold is one of them. so, he tucks the chocolates very carefully in his bag and makes his way to the handicraft room.

there's a moment of indecision--does he really want to confront this--but, nazuna lifts his hand, and gives three knocks on the door. ]

[ it's not shy, it's discreet. there's a difference.

but it's true. in that sense. gone are the days of sweeping declarations of love and affection that were uncomfortable at best and smothering at worst - and while that's all water under the bridge now, things are different now, when valkyrie is no longer at its peak and they're both third years now.

too much has changed in two short years.

that said, the one thing that hasn't changed is that shu can more often that not be found in the handicraft club's room, and it's the three knocks on the door that startles him enough to set down whatever he's working on, white silk and gold trimming, making his way over to the door.

it's not kagehira, that much is evident, and it's more likely than not that it's one of the other units requesting for new outfits, so when the door swings open, to say that he's surprised is a little bit of an understatement. ]

... Nito. [ he says, finally, and there's an undernote of apprehension, wariness in his tone.

he can't have been found out already, right? ]

[ now that he's here, nazuna's not... entirely sure what he's going to do. even after starfes, where things were just a little bit fixed, where nazuna felt like maybe they could start over, it's still...stilted. awkward. they used to be so close, but.. it's better this way.

nazuna is nazuna, now. he's not just a doll, perfectly posed, in a glass case where no one can harm him. he's a human being, and as a human being, he still saw itsuki's gift and came to find him.

he takes a deep breath, hand slowly moving away from the door. ] Itsuki. [ he greets back, and mentally winces. stupid. he flounders for a moment with what to say, and ends up with a sheepish smile on his face. ] ...are you busy?

[ it's a start. it's better than how they were before, better than when they would cross hurtful words because shu himself had no idea how to fix them, and if nazuna stayed away perhaps it would hurt less. performing together was... a start. a small one, better than nothing, but it doesn't change that standing in front of nazuna like this has changed from how it used to be.

what hasn't changed is that the sight of nazuna smiling, sheepish as it is, is enough to make his heart jump a couple of beats or so.

it's not evident, because his brow is furrowed, his hand lifted in an aborted half motion, and then he glances over at the shirt he had been working on earlier - a request from wataru, and it can wait, he decides.

there's a long pause that sounds a little bit more drawn out than necessary before he admits: ] ... No. [ and shu steps aside, turns on his heel, stalks back into the handicrafts club room without another word, although he leaves the door open.

it's as good as an invitation. ]

[ an open door is a good an answer as any.

nazuna steps behind him, into the handicrafts room, and inhales. it's an immediate hit of nostalgia. this room was his home, for two years: the club was always valkyrie's paradise, their heaven. itsuki had described it that way, before eichi, before even mika, when it was just the two of them, alone. the two worthy to be the sovereigns of yumenosaki. nazuna had never really understood why shu chose him, but he'd lifted him out of his self consciousness and brought him to a higher level, made him feel wanted, beautiful--

terrified. nervous. worthy and worthless all at once.

nazuna and shu have been through a lot, in this room. he has to quash the immediate feeling to shut his mouth, and just lets the nostalgic smell of fray-check and vintage fabric wash over him for a moment, inhaling as he watches itsuki move in front of him. it's the same as ever, meticulously organized, familiar, and if he closes his eyes, he can hear mika chattering at him, a silly, stumbling first year who deserved so much better than what he got.

he sighs. it's soft, but it's fond. ] What are you working on? [ and he knows its lame small talk, but.. he needs a minute to confront this properly. ]

[ it's much better than being confronted with a closed one, like they had for the longest time.

the room hasn't changed much, pretty much everything is still under shu's organised authority, untouchable save for the small corner off to the side where mika's pretty much dedicated to his creepy and cute soft toys.

valhalla. valkyrie's sanctuary, and it's always been a place where shu has always found respite even after their fall, a safe space where he could still create, delicate stitches in dim lights, and--

having nazuna back in this room feels like a mistake, all of a sudden, his throat tightening up even as he busies himself with keeping away the shirt that he'd been working on for wataru, taking out the pins and folding the fabric neatly so that it didn't crease more than necessary, his back still facing nazuna.

he's still not used to feeling this vulnerable. ]

A request for Wataru - he didn't say what he needed it for, but I would wager it's for a performance of his.

[ it's curt, but at least he sounds steady. and if shu's guessed that nazuna needs a moment thanks to the lame small talk, for whatever reason, he's fine with obliging. ]

Mm. [ he makes a little noise of understanding, and feels his voice falter him immediately. the silence feels awkward, heavy, and nazuna feels twitchy with it. every approach he makes towards talking about this is, as usual, an utter communication failure. and that's always what valkyrie was, wasn't it? shu, unstoppable and sovereign and strong, nazuna, quiet, willing, flexible. mute.

he's not like that anymore, though. nazuna closes his eyes for a moment, where shu's still facing away from him, and tries a completely different approach. ]

...Do you like chocolates, Itsuki?

[ it's involuntary, the way shu freezes, stops mid-motion as he's keeping away the shirt inside one of the drawers that he uses for such things.

so he's been found out already, because there's no other way the conversation would have taken such a turn - and he's about to say something to salvage the situation, at least until-- ]

『 Did you know, Nazuna-chan? Shu-kun's been learning how to make chocolates, recently~ 』

[ ... goddamnit, mademoiselle.

it's followed by a whirl around and a baleful look at the innocent-looking doll seated at the side before shu clears his throat awkwardly.

...... at least it's not outright denial? ]

[ it's a little surprising when mademoiselle's voice comes out of shu's mouth, like always: nazuna's pink eyes widen briefly, but he closes his open mouth, then smiles, turning his attention to the doll. careful, careful. ]

Is that so? [ his tone isn't childish or anything, but nazuna purposefully takes his attention off of shu to speak to her, as if completely ignoring his awkward silence. ] You know, it's funny. Someone gave me chocolates today. I really liked them.

[ the emphasis on the word is purposeful, and his gaze flicks back to shu, just for a brief second. ] It made me feel really lucky.

Edited 2018-02-21 01:37 (UTC)

『 Shu-kun put in a lot of effort into his chocolates! I think he wanted to give them to someone... 』

[ ok, you know what? the doll is being a traitor. ]

That's enough, Mademoiselle!

[ hopefully that didn't come out like the undignified squawk that it sounded like in his head, and when shu turns back, just enough to catch nazuna's gaze for a moment.

this time, he's the one that flushes red, just a hint on his cheeks, before he averts his gaze slightly. ]

...... Did you?

[ look, mademoiselle's already outed him, there's no point in denying it now. ]

[ it came out exactly like that, actually, and the combination of all of the things--shu relying on mademoiselle to speak, shu, in some way, betraying himself, the chocolates--is enough to put a smile on nazuna's face. it starts out little, like he's biting his cheek to keep it from getting too big.

and then the second shu looks away from him, nazuna can't help himself. he breaks out in giggles, musical and light, the kind of pure laughter that comes from happiness. it's the ridiculousness of the entire situation, and the relief that he feels from a love confession that feels more utterly normal than anything shu's ever said to him it's downright laughable.

but. but!! after a couple of seconds, he stops himself, waving his hand to try and rush away any worries. ] 'm shorry, 'm shorry, 'm not laughin' at yew, 'm--yeah, I liked sem, Itshuki-- haa~ ♪

[ nazuna takes a deep breath, and reaches up to wipe at his eyes, trying to stop himself from stuttering too much. ] I always like everything you make for me.

[ and that's a truth from before, too. everything shu makes is beautiful, and it's--nice, sometimes, to know that someone's made something with love and care just for him. ]

[ the few seconds of complete, unbearable silence is the absolute worst.

it feels like an eternity, and in that moment, shu regrets everything, wonders how open kunugi-sensei would be to him holing himself in his grandmother's house for the rest of his life and never coming back to school ever again, whether he could get his schoolwork delivered and whether that would affect his chance of graduation--

but then nazuna is smiling, and two years ago shu would have been overjoyed to be finally witness to nazuna's smile, but as it is, given whatever has happened between them over the past couple of months, this strange defrosting that has somehow come to this

and all shu can do is pretty much stare at nazuna's face, dimly registering the bright, musical laughter and wondering what stroke of luck must have happened to him for nazuna to be standing in front of him and laughing.

it's the tears that kind of pull him back to the present, and it's almost instinctive, borne out of habit when he pulls out a handkerchief from his pocket and takes a tentative hold on nazuna's chin, gently dabbing at the corner of nazuna's eyes to catch the tears instead of letting nazuna rub at his eyes for too long. ] ... You're too beautiful to cry, Nito.

[ look, old habits die hard and communication is awkward. let him live. ]

I-- [ clears throat. ] I'm glad you like them. You deserve only the best.

[ awkward. this is really awkward. ]

Ehe-mm. [ his laugh cuts off when shu reaches to take his chin, and nazuna's heart leaps in his chest, confused and erratic like a fluttering bird. his feelings towards shu have always been complicated, and having him this close is no exception to that rule, but now, they err away from the guilty and depressed to the happier, fonder--to the warmth he felt the first day shu looked at him and asked him to form valkyrie with him. to find their own valhalla.

nazuna's big, giggly smile slowly melts down to something softer, fonder. he teases, just a little, and the warmth stays in his tone. ] They're happy tears, Itsuki, it's okay.

[ because that's what happens when you laugh, when you get to feel emotions. he lets shu stay close as he dabs at his eyes, too, and lets the warmth slowly fill up his chest, his stomach, down to the tingly tips of his fingers. he flushes with the praise, and the want of this relationship, the days when it was just the two of them, almost knocks him off of his feet. ]

Can you wait until White Day? [ he starts, and then starts to babble, just a little -- ] Caushe, 'm gonna return sheh favor, y'know, shoon ash I can--mine wont be ash good ash yours, but--

[ he sucks in a breath, quick, trying to force himself to stop stuttering, to let that welled up feeling of joy leak out just a little, slowly but surely. ] But I. I accept them. I definitely do.

[ and not just the chocolates. ]

[ it doesn't stop being awkward, not when he still feels stiff and out of his depth, still captivated by the light in nazuna's smile, his motions tender, softer, drying his tears - it didn't matter whether they were happy tears or not, the last thing shu wanted to do was to make nazuna cry.

there's a lot of things that he wants to say, really, but it doesn't stop him from feeling like his heart is still stuck in his throat even when he does a pretty good job (in his opinion, obviously) of not letting himself get too affected when he folds back the handkerchief so that he can hold it loosely in his palm once he lets go of nazuna's chin.

because it's more than just a confession, not when shu has been in love with nazuna for the longest time. not when shu still feels lingering traces of bitter regret when nazuna smiles - bitter regret that he's crossed the line one too many times, that he had not listened, that valkyrie could have been salvaged and he could have proven that nazuna was meant to stand with him at the peak.

to be honest, this still feels like a dream.

especially when he hears nazuna's response, and it takes him a moment to actually register it, and shu does what any reasonable eighteen-year-old would do when their crush says they like you back. ]

I. Of course, I-- I don't mind waiting, I'll wait for you until the end of time, even, Nito--

[ ok, maybe not so reasonable. that was definitely a case of open mouth, insert foot. ]

[ nazuna ends up flushing even redder when shu starts--well, being shu. how can you blame him? after all, when they were first years, shu never shut up about how beautiful he was (even called them partners, in the most absurdly lovestruck voice nazuna had ever heard in his life), and things crested to a point where it was downright unhealthy. they crashed--violently--but nazuna rose out of it like a phoenix, and today, he's returned to where he started.

not as a doll, not as a puppet, not as something to be put in a museum. just as nazuna nito, a human, with a beating heart.

it's a heart that's found its place back here in this handicrafts room, with shu, who once felt like a great, untouchable god, and now feels like a high school student. with graduation looming, they stand here together. awkward, fumbling, but together.

he gets flustered, then lifts both of his hands up to cover his mouth. they're small, and he doesn't shove, but. ] Stop, stop, jeesh! Don't make it weird!

[ but, after his embarrassed protest, nazuna lets his hands drop--but only a little. they shift to his cheeks, and he leaves them there, and feels the distinct desire to kiss him.

...he won't, though. not yet. instead, he just sighs, exasperated, but a little fond. it reads in his eyes, too, pink and warm and soft. ] That... doesn't mean we can't--I don't want to wait that long. That's just--I'll make you chocolates.

[ at this point, nazuna is scarlet, and his gaze flicks away, embarrassed. hopefully he'll get the gist. ]

do you want me, do you want me too?

sovereigns are never late

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