crayola doesn't make a color for your eyes.

[hypercompetent]

let's get zesty.

Comments

[triskeles]

Well it's descriptive.
I'll give him that.

Yes absolutely.
Not drinking water to stay hydrated is definitely you being a rebel.
And setting yourself up for a hangover in the morning.

[hypercompetent]

it workscause
youre a chef
and totally hot
and like i didnt tell him ur name for ike a month bc i was like HOT CHEF GUUYYYYS TALKING TO ME AGAINNN
it was awesome

#yolo

[triskeles]

I'll take that as a compliment.
You know, you could've asked me for my number sooner if that was the case.

yolo.
More like "I'm going to text Derek in the morning."
"Bemoaning the fact I have a hangover."
"Which is worse because I didn't listen to him."

[hypercompetent]

i didnt wanna be a creeper

ih ave no idea what ur talking about r
pleasd the fifth!!!!!
weill you come over and cook for me

[triskeles]

Trust me I've dealt with creepers.
You wouldn't have been one.

Plead the fifth all you want.
I don't actually know where you live.

[ It's not a no. ]

[hypercompetent]

[ attached is a slightly askew picture of a street corner sign. why is he outside. this is a terrible life decision. at least it's readable? ]

i was gnnsa pretend to be ahousewife

u know now!!!! :))))))
ttly should just come overrrr anyway

[triskeles]

[ Stiles. ]

God knows I have enough of those in my contact list.
I kind of like having a fresh out of college kindergarten teacher, though.

Go back inside you dumbass.
Then maybe I'll consider it.

[hypercompetent]

yeah duhhhhhhh
i thought u wre married
pls its elss weird if i was like
forty and female and trying not to tuh on you
n the interwebbbbsssss


really?????
yourfe the best

[triskeles]

I am absolutely not married.
I absolutely haven't had a s/o in a couple years, either.
The women of my life are my sisters, my niece, and my army of housewives.
How would that be less weird?

Yes, really.
What do you want me to make you.

[hypercompetent]

cos u have an army ofthem
duh
fitt right in
haha
im sooooooglad you arent


mom's sandwiches

[triskeles]

I don't know, you seem to fit right in with them as is.
So I'll take the nerdy gaming teacher covered in glitter over another housewife.
Are you?


Do you want me to make them here and bring them over, or
What, come over and make them there?

[hypercompetent]

s cause im equally as nuts
i am not nerdy!!!!!! rude
k maybe a little
shh its a secret

come overrrrr :D :D :D

[ He is so drunk. That would be a terrible idea, the little voice in his head says. Stiles hates that guy. ]

[triskeles]

You absolutely are.
x2
Being a nerd isn't bad though.
What if we whisper.
Stiles, I am whispering. What's the secret?


Is that actually a good idea with how inebriated you are.

[ Derek is, of course, a spoilsport and is going to ask before he starts packing up. (He's going to pretend he's not sliding over to where his jacket and shoes are over by the entry closet.) ]

[hypercompetent]

am not!!!!
s secretss that ur like
the best
and f u come over rek
here
imgn kss u like aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa lot

i swear tgo runk im not god

[triskeles]

Are too.
You are also incredibly, /incredibly/ drunk right now.
But I'm going to come over, and I'm going to make you food.
And then I am going to make you go to bed.
And you can see if you still want to do that in the morning.

[hypercompetent]

okk i love you buhbuyyee

[ the level of mortification he's going to have tomorrow at this ]

bed souns A+
ug et a gold star likme y kids

[triskeles]

[ Ugh Stiles. ]

I will put it on my fridge like Tali has all hers.
Try to drink some water, okay? I need to get my stuff together.

[hypercompetent]

<333333333
yes sir

[triskeles]

[ A few minutes hesitation, and then: ]

<3
Be there soon.

[hypercompetent]

[ guess who is literally sitting crosslegged in front of the door waiting

it's this guy ]

[triskeles]

[ Guess who gets stopped on the way out of his apartment with an armful of stuff to make Stiles food?

It's this guy.

Derek, however, navigates as far away from Laura as quickly as possible so that he can hunt down where Stiles lives. It's not that difficult, between looking it up and cross-referencing with one Scott McCall. It's a good thing Stiles talks about his roommate so much, because otherwise there would not be a hot chef guy coming up to Stiles' apartment, looking a combination of amused and bemused. ]

[hypercompetent]

[ There's Derek! Stiles brightens the minute he sees his car pull into the drive downstairs, and he considers getting up, but whatever logical part of his brain is still functioning tells him that's an awful idea, so he sits and waits, hands resting on his ankles and grinning like the cheshire cat.

In fact, he just looks up at him when he arrives, still smiling, cheeks a little flushed, and chirps out a ] Hi, Derek! You came!

[triskeles]

[ There is something incredibly endearing about the way Stiles greets him, and he feels something soften in his chest before he sets the heavy bag of ingredients down on the floor. His other bag remains slung over his shoulder, because Derek has every intention of staying the night to make sure that Stiles isn't in agony in the morning. ]

Of course I did. C'mere. [ He holds his hands out to him, twitching his fingers in a slight grabby motion to encourage him to give him his hands. ]

[hypercompetent]

[ Stiles beams at him in response, clearly drunk off of his ass, and reaches forward, rocking up off of his butt and planting both of his hands in Derek's. ]

Y'wanna hold hands-- [ And it ends in a stupid giggle. God only knows where he was going with that one. ]

[triskeles]

[ This is sort of amusing as hell but also really unfair, because Stiles is possibly the most adorable drunk he has ever seen. It trumps Derek's roommates in college by leaps and bounds, and he curls his fingers with his to easily haul him back to his feet. ]

Absolutely. [ Not actually a lie. ]