or say we're only dreaming;

[melocoton]

O P E N P O S T
❝ don't you dare close your eyes❞
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♥ request one of my muses from my desperately needing an update muselist
♥ i'll respond to it and we can thread some stuff and things.
♥ post is NOT nsfw sorry ;A;

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"i'm gonna work on apps," he said

[flirtily]

[ When he'd stepped into the pod, peered out through the glass and taken in the faces of his friends, his father, his mother, Knox had known he was doing the right thing. He was terrified, of course. He'd spent much of that week terrified, not wanting to die, just wanting to go back home to the life he'd lived since his mother's death. But he was more terrified of losing Syd, of having his choices taken away when he'd spent those years upon years of taking his proxy's choices from him just because he decided to make the wrong ones, himself.

But why would he stay away, if he had the choice?

And as Knox Brindle, he damn well has a choice. And this time, this time, it's going to be a right choice.

He leans casually against the wall of the schoolroom, arms crossed as he waits for Syd. Logically, he knows that Syd will want him to explain himself. But not everything, as he's learned, is simple logic. The world as they knew it was turned on its head during that week, and seems to still be tumbling along, but at least he can be here - here for Syd, mostly.

A slow grin spreads across his face as Syd stands there, even pinches himself, and he shrugs his shoulder before he gives him a wink. ] What, you dreaming about me now, Syd?

canned laughter in the distance

[prox]

[ that smug attitude--either syd is hallucinating (very likely) or knox is somehow alive and standing in front of him, as cool and casual as can be. he tenses, wondering if liam is outside, how knox got in (really, how wouldn't he find a way to get in) but any thought of his bodyguard is downright fleeting as his hands curl and uncurl from fists to flat at his sides, like he's trying to find a way to compartmentalize and cover his emotions. ]

You're alive. [ he starts with that, the faintest hint of awe breathed into his voice; syd reaches up and touches the birthmark behind his ear, like it might just disappear or something, like it could react to knox's existence. it's actually just a nervous gesture, a comforting one, something that he used to do to ground himself in a moment, which he needs, desperately.

he still remembers knox kissed him before he left, his quick denial of it, but also the warmth of his arm around his waist, the sheer and utter despair syd had felt at the idea of losing his former patron. knox was a spoiled, occasionally useless, completely glitched lux brat, but in their time together with marie, he'd become...well, he'd changed enough to sacrifice himself, hadn't he.

syd swallows a lump in his throat. he hasn't cried since egan died; he won't do it again, now. this is joyful, right? a jubilee. how ironic.

he takes in a deep breath.] How did you... [ i saw you. ] Does Marie know?

canned laughter intensifies

[flirtily]

Feeling pretty alive. [ Everything had been hot, in the end. Searing and overwhelming - the old man had lied, it had hurt, and yet he's still glad he was the one to go through it - and yet, the one thing that had really stood out in the end had been the warmth that had been shared between the two of them. Knox had never looked twice at the other guys around him, hadn't even considered them before Syd had kissed him.

And then he'd kissed Syd, and that was right. He'd waved it off, sure, but it was still right, somehow. ]

Nah, not yet. Figured she could wait, and it'd be payback for her pretending to be dead. [ Yeah, he's still sour about that. But it's not like anyone can really blame him, considering how that'd kickstarted all of this. Not that any of them really regret it, now, but Knox figures fair is fair.

Green eyes flicking up Syd's body once, twice, and then he uncrosses his arms and sways his body forwards. His hand comes up to touch behind his own ear, mirroring Syd even as he walks towards his proxy. They're two pieces to a whole, now, more than they ever were.

He stops in front of him, dropping his hand, grin softening around the edges. ]

[prox]

[ stunned, all syd can do is shake his head.

did you love my son?

not at first, no.

so, did you love my son?

i don't want to talk about knox.

he wondered, sometimes, if it had been as painful for marie. in the end, the three of them were close, but syd trusted knox in a way he thought he'd never trust anyone else. he wasn't good at letting people close, too busy keeping his head down for that and could understand machines far better than he ever understood people. he didn't understand knox, probably never would. (never would have had the chance to.)

but in the end, he asked himself over a hundred sleepless nights, why knox would have sacrificed himself for him. so many people died because of syd--because of yovel--but none seemed to hurt more than watching knox take the burden that was supposed to be his own. a debt repaid, or something.

syd isn't sure if he can move. he's not the type to do so, not always. he's not sure if he wants to punch knox in the face for not telling him that he could have survived, or kiss the life out of him, now that no one's here, no one's watching, and there's an infinite (almost) amount of time.

he opts for the second. ]

[flirtily]

[ Knox has kissed a lot of people - a lot of girls - in his relatively short life. Each kiss is different, just like every person is different, and there's always a different emotion attached to the display. Girls' lips, whether they're plush or thin or whatever, have always been soft. Were, anyways, considering he doubts anyone can really afford that luxury anymore. Pushy or pliant, they've always been soft, and always pretty willing to fall into it. Let him do the work.

This is the third time that he's kissed Syd, and it's still so new and different from what he's used to. He's not shocked, like the first time Syd initiated it, and he doesn't fight it. Instead he meets him, brings his hand up to cradle his face - more sharp, than those girls of his lux past - and he kisses him back.

The first time had been a diversion, nothing to it. The second time had been a goodbye and apology all rolled into one, regret for their past but not for the choice that the former patron had made in the end. This time, Knox kisses him like a welcome, full of relief and a sort of wonder, and an apology - but no regret for that choice, still.

Syd was the last thing that he ever expected to want in his life, but, really, he's become the one thing that he needs. So maybe that's why he came back, why their fucked up lives found a way. ]