[ It was damp, the sky red, their shadows dark tangerine, cast long and wide, like smudged blood on the cement. He had been here before. In a warm place, perhaps far in the forgotten happiness of early youth. When he had chosen a lollipop over dinner, had taken it in his mouth greedily without a second thought of the consequences thereafter. This was the situation he was again faced with. All his life, Ryousuke tried and failed to discipline out from himself the very demand which he exploited in his clients - this feeling of euphoria that was only bought by sacrificing a later contentment.
He was ready to feel like he was in control again. Ready to wake up and remember how to function on his own.
But maybe now, more so than ever before, it wasn't possible to be in control. They could ride like that forever, he thought. If they could chase the moon as it receded over every horizon, and keep going like that. And then find a place where it was always dark and lay together like that. Make love under the stars. Grow old and then die there. If that were the narrative of an old nelly's end, a poorly lavished stray of a man, then Ryousuke couldn't imagine anything closer to the reality of dreams.
What a strange thing to be overwhelmed with, a crazy wind that knocked him off his wits. He was looking at Kuramochi for a moment and smiling, like he always did, thinking of him. He had the cake shoved in his mouth. He was saying something and Ryousuke wasn't listening. He had his hair a bit disheveled by the breeze of the bike ride. At the store it smelled like something that would get them high, and suddenly Ryousuke wanted a lollipop, the same kind he'd traded for his dinner long ago. Because even now he was impulsive and he didn't care. ]
I thought you'd always want to eat something I give. Maybe I'll ask this time: wherever we're going, you'll screw me when we get there right? [ he pulled at the corners of Kuramochi's jacket. His knees felt the night air with a bit too much of a conscious chill.
He could look at Kuramochi and remember every detail of his face, the thin shape of his iris, the curve of the brow, the way one side of his lips rose higher when he grinned than the other. The way he hands could fit almost all the way around Ryousuke's thighs, they knew that from practice. What it was that made it impossible to say no - it was everything that Kuramochi was. A stupid, talented, magnetic, forceful kid who would never back down. And he, Ryousuke knew, was the kind to never leave someone behind.]
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Re: i listened to rent and it made me think of our AU HERE I AM FINALLY
He was ready to feel like he was in control again. Ready to wake up and remember how to function on his own.
But maybe now, more so than ever before, it wasn't possible to be in control. They could ride like that forever, he thought. If they could chase the moon as it receded over every horizon, and keep going like that. And then find a place where it was always dark and lay together like that. Make love under the stars. Grow old and then die there. If that were the narrative of an old nelly's end, a poorly lavished stray of a man, then Ryousuke couldn't imagine anything closer to the reality of dreams.
What a strange thing to be overwhelmed with, a crazy wind that knocked him off his wits. He was looking at Kuramochi for a moment and smiling, like he always did, thinking of him. He had the cake shoved in his mouth. He was saying something and Ryousuke wasn't listening. He had his hair a bit disheveled by the breeze of the bike ride. At the store it smelled like something that would get them high, and suddenly Ryousuke wanted a lollipop, the same kind he'd traded for his dinner long ago. Because even now he was impulsive and he didn't care. ]
I thought you'd always want to eat something I give. Maybe I'll ask this time: wherever we're going, you'll screw me when we get there right? [ he pulled at the corners of Kuramochi's jacket. His knees felt the night air with a bit too much of a conscious chill.
He could look at Kuramochi and remember every detail of his face, the thin shape of his iris, the curve of the brow, the way one side of his lips rose higher when he grinned than the other. The way he hands could fit almost all the way around Ryousuke's thighs, they knew that from practice. What it was that made it impossible to say no - it was everything that Kuramochi was. A stupid, talented, magnetic, forceful kid who would never back down. And he, Ryousuke knew, was the kind to never leave someone behind.]