if you wanna page me that's okay

[melocoton]

CALL ME, BEEP ME, IF YOU WANNA REACH ME.

tflns, random text spams, misfires, voicemails, emails, passive aggressive sticky notes, letters, carrier pigeons--just leave one of my muses a message and i'll respond in kind!

Comments

for Marius!

[neverminetolose]

Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?

[aheartfull]

[ BLANK STARING AT HIS PHONE ]

ponine, this sounds like something courfeyrac would say
ru okay?

this is from tfln HI STILES

[nymeriarya]

I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."

HEHEHE

[mediary]

maybe i convinced him to get a ping pong table finally! :D

pre-stiles moving in, also from tfln

[nymeriarya]

my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned

gigglefits

[mediary]

do you think it's like a wall of actual furries
or do you think it's a wall of fur
or do you think it's a wall he can rub his back on and pretend he's scratching his fur on it
so many possibilities only one man raised by wolves

TFLN you know who this is for

[youmeanbestiality]

did u put pizza in my boxers last night?

crying about it

[hypercompetent]

the gift that keeps on giving!

[nymeriarya]

My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.

[mediary]

it's a legit concern for both of us >:(

for bran

[fullofsongs]

your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today

Re: for bran

[climbed]

i thought robb said you shouldn't read those anymore...

stiiiiles

[hisusername]

So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?

[hypercompetent]

you know i'm going to get all the repercussions for that right


hell yes do it

YO STILES

[anticonvulsant]

You're a six foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.

[hypercompetent]

this is only acceptable if i get half the pot

hi

[nymeriarya]

Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.

♥

[mediary]

oh my god that liar i knew he did
one time i dropped one and it broke in a crime scene does that count

lydia cries

[freaking]

girl i love you like i've been drinking all day

...oh stiles [1/2]

[sixtypercent]

i love you like a bible thumper loves an alcoholic
:)

[sixtypercent]

your newfound attraction to drunk texting me is neither charming nor romantic.

stiles or lydia u choose

[overdraws]

Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...

something new today 8)

[sixtypercent]

Your dad is enough of a DILF that even lesbians want him.
I told you.

[cheesed]

did u know that at&t has service 6 ft underground
i didnt until today
pls come find me idk where i am

until i get dave icons have a laura

[vitabrevis]

You know you're going to give Dave a heart attack if you keep doing this to him, right.
Consider yourself /very/ lucky that one of the two of us has more doglike tendencies. ;)

[krasnyy]

Eventually someone isn't going to believe me when I vouch for you being a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, Stiles.

[hypercompetent]

you're the black widow! they have to believe you!
plus i think thor might actually kill me when he finds out
like literally

[larks]

I'm really sorry for the blank pocket text. My butt obviously has nothing to say to you. But that doesn't mean *I* have nothing to say to you.