call me maybe!

[bandera]

OPEN IC INBOX, PART TWO
( for tfln, for texts, whatever you want )

Comments

[flexed]

not that i'm not awesome or anything, but that's a terrifying image.
one of me is fine.
also motherhood is for you not for me, that's even more terrifying.
i would break a baby.

[cranks]

If you end up a mom I'm gonna end up babysitting your kids all the time anyway.
it's your choice though, yeah?
Bloody shame, though, you and Tommy'd have proper pretty kids.

[flexed]

slow your horses there, don't even know if we'll go that far.
i mean, if anybody could change my mind it'd be tommy.
but right now i'm just gonna focus on getting through school.

[cranks]

[ if you don't think she's screencapping this to show when they get married someday idk what to tell you ]

Course.
Good and proper and responsible and all that.
You really love him, huh?

[flexed]

[ If you don't think she's got their wedding planned out on pinterest after a night of drinking idk what to tell you, so we're even. ]

he'd make a good dad. definitely wouldn't break a baby.
could balance out my potential disaster levels.
yeah, i do.

[cranks]

I knew you would.
Been trying to set you two up since freshman year.

[flexed]

why didn't it happen sooner.
i mean, i'm not complaining, first date was a+ and good story material.
"yeah, i bought thomas for 250 bucks and after seeing a movie we made it to second base in an alley."

[cranks]

I really didn't need to know that last part.
And it's because Tommy was kinda shy. Don't tell him I told you that, though.

[flexed]

more like you didn't need it confirmed.
i remember those stern, motherly looks the day after when you'd seen the both of us.
god he really is a deer trapped in a human's body.

[cranks]

Yeah, yeah. He's in my physics class in the morning
Shirt collars don't exactly hide *that* much
He really is.
What does that make you, huh?

[flexed]

poor baby, probably turned red as a fire engine.
and i'm obviously the wolf of the sorority houses.
feared across the land by gross frat boys, predator to pretty boys with doe eyes.

[ She'll huff and she'll puff and she'll blow him. #eyyyy ]

[cranks]

[ jesus christ ]

You'd think he'd stop doing that now that I've seen him in your bed.
a wolf sounds about right, yeah
that better not make me the bloody grandma

[flexed]

he's just delicate. [ Afterwards, definitely not during. #eyyy ]
i love you, but i am not going to eat you in any way, shape, or form.
that would be either cannibalism, which is frowned upon in most countries, or (almost) incest, which is also frowned upon and somehow more gross.

[cranks]

Delicate's a good word for it.
Did you give up on being gentle? ;)

I'd rather not even think about that. Either of those. Ugh.

[flexed]

he's delicate, but very receptive and interested in trying things.
so yes. ;D

so gross. so, so gross.

[cranks]

Talk about gross!

[ TMI, JESUS ]

[flexed]

this is revenge!
i have screencaps and screencaps of blackmail from you oversharing, you know.

[cranks]

Delete them!
I was drunk, that's different

[flexed]

the damage has already been done, my friend.
i know what goldilocks gets up to in bed that's just right, and therapy won't cleanse me of the mental images.

[cranks]

Jesus shucking christ.
Thank you for ruining that for me the next time I read Ellie fairytales

[flexed]

already ruined red riding hood why not that too.
i promise not to traumatize her the next time i see her, though.
all children should be like ellie, i'm not ruining that.